Well the day is finally approaching that we get to find out the million dollar question. Will our home be filled with......a little more testosterone or a little more estrogen? (ok maybe it would be a lot more estrogen) Yeaaa!!!!! Friday May 2nd we will know if we're having a girl or a boy. We have been lucky so far to have a girl and then a boy as we hoped for, so this will be a bonus either way. I am simply relieved not to have a preference this time around. I had planned on waiting to find out with Maddy but I broke down shortly after the pregnancy test came back positive. I really wish those pregnancy tests had blue or pink lines to let you know boy or girl. Apparently I am not very good at waiting for surprises.I am amazed at all those who have had the willpower to wait. The anticipation is absolutely killing me. The kids have been hilarious too. Maddy talks about the baby as a baby sister and Logan talks about his baby brother. Is it just instinctive that we automatically assume kids will be our same gender? In the beginning Dean and Logan said boy and Maddy and I said we would have a girl. Of course since then Dean and I have changed our minds several times. Even the Chinese are confused. I tried one of those Chinese gender predicting calendars. One calendar said boy one said girl and the other said I have exactly a 50/50 chance of boy/girl. Really? How scientific. Now there's 5 minutes of my life I can't have back. Maybe the funniest part were these testimonials of people swearing these charts could never be wrong. Is there a way to be wrong if you actually predict both sexes? Anyhow just two and a half weeks and we can't wait to find out.(And anyone thinking we might actually be having both, rest assured there is only one bun in this oven)

"They grow up so fast"........a phrase I have heard more times than I can count. Yet somehow I thought I would feel that way when the kids were teenagers or adults. Not 2 and 4. I am still in disbelief that I have a 2 and 4 year old. Where has the time gone? Looking back at pictures I am amazed at how much each of them has grown. Just in the last year or so Maddy has outgrown the baby look and is growing up into a little girl. Logan is growing quickly as well. People are often surprised when I tell them he is two. (looking at his midget mother they don't know his dad is 6'5 and obviously he doesn't get his height or coordination from me) I have been thinking about all the "stages" that they have gone through and how they both have such unique little personalities. Madelyn is continuing to grow into a very compassionate little girl and big sister. Her teacher at school says she's always helping other children and shows concern for others and their needs. She is the big sister at home and at school. She is still a child but the way she often perceives others needs touches my heart. Her understanding and love for family often surprises me. She loves church and learning about Jesus. A few months back she was sitting next to my mom and her cousin in church. A woman got up to say the prayer and began to cry. Maddy's cousin asked why the woman was crying. Maddy told her it was because she was touched by the spirit. Her cousin replied, "but I don't see anybody." Lol I think she might have her moms feisty and sensitive side. I think she loves to one up her mom as well. Last week she said to me, "Mom do you know what predicament means?" I say no and she proceeds to tell me it means a hard situation. She loves telling me what random words mean and make me laugh because I don't know where she comes up with this stuff. She loves to snuggle and give hugs. Some of my favorite time with her is just to hear her tell me about her crazy dreams, make up songs,ask questions,and watching her sweet and encouraging interactions with Logan. In only a few months my little man will be 3. Seems like forever ago that he was a small and immobile baby.He is now all boy and loves to be active and outdoors. He has such a happiness and peace about him that is contagious. Even when mom seems stressed and swept up in the whirlwind he is carefree. He has a kind of peace about him that I can't really describe.He is our little comedian as well. He is always cracking us up.I love the conversations that he and I have. Such a chatterbox. I love the way that he repeats things back to me as a questions as if to make sure we are on the same page. Lately he loves to say, "Mom do you know what a question is?" And then he starts making up a 5 minute story that might eventually become a question. His smile just makes you want to smile and his laugh makes us all laugh. When he and Maddy laugh together he is almost rendered helpless he laughs so hard.It is amazing to see how much children grow and develop their own unique personalities and identities. I've also been thinking a lot about how much I have grown up in the last year or several years. I think many mothers would agree that there is something about motherhood that really makes you grow up yourself. It is an amazing gift and responsibility to be trusted to care for another who from before birth is really relying on you for everything. I think I have come to understand the term selfless a little more clearly since having children. They have taught me about patience, love, forgiveness, joy and even about frustration.  I sometimes wonder if each child has their own quirks to teach their parents more patience.I surely will be working on that one through eternity. I never imagined how much of a growing opportunity motherhood would be. I think raising children makes you really appreciate how precious life is. How each member of each family is truly special. And more than ever I am realizing what everyone has said all along. Enjoy every moment with them you can because it is precious and they surely do grow up fast.

  Oh and just FYI, the blackmail picture of Logan in pink was not me wishing to dress up my little man as a girl.(I already have a girl)It was on a night I was gone and Dean did it. Guess Logan had no clean pajamas. Maddy and Dean thought it was pretty hilarious. I'll be waiting for Logan's therapy bill in about 10 years.

Logan at 6 weeks                                                            4 months old                                   1 year

Maddy almost 2                                                      Lovin her shades                            Getting ready for ballet

 Gymnastics holiday parade                          Exhausted from all that running                   Day at the beach with dad

              Bedtime                                          Maddy laughing and Logan                                   Laundry basket rides

                                                                              bewildered                   

             Little buddies

Ahhh. What is a perfect weekend? Well last week it was definately spending an entire weekend at my parents. I know some may think this sounds like torture but I absolutely loved it. After finally getting over my sickness, 2 weeks of sick kids, starting potty training, cleaning up many unpleasant things, Logan deciding now was the time to jack in the box out of his crib, and several weeks of headaches and insomnia I was exhausted and frazzled. Seeing that I obviously needed a moment of reprieve Dean so sweetly suggested I go have a relaxing weekend at my moms while he watch the kids. It was one of a million times I have been so grateful and humbled to be married to such a good man. I know he has always made our family his number one priority. It was a wonderful and relaxing weekend. There were even moments of total peace and silence. ( If you have kids you know silence is a rare and coveted thing) It was really fun to just be able to spend time with my mom & my sister Tammy. The kids really adore Grandma so it can be hard to get a word in. (Can't count how many stories we have started and not finished.) Thanks mom and dad for having me all weekend. Sunday morning I slept in till 10:30. I think the last time that happened was pre kids. Definately thinking we need to make this some sort of tri-monthly tradition. Of course the only downside is once again knowing that I am the deadbeat parent of the two.  It's okay though, I don't know if there's a way of competing with this man.I called to see how things were going on Saturday night and the kids happily told me all of the fun things that they were doing with dad. They made up a list of all the things they wanted to do, what they wanted to eat, and what the rules were going to be. They accomplished a weeks worth of adventures in a day. Beach, bike rides, restaurants, games, a trip to the jungle, moving logan to a big boy bed, and plenty more. They raved about how much fun they had with dad.The cherry on top for me had to be expecting to come home Sunday night to a disaster area and instead found the house clean, laundry and dishes done, floors vacuumed and rooms organized. After my serene weekend it was lovely to come home and see a loving husband and two precious sleeping children. Thanks again love. You're the best.